1997 - Mark Placek

It is with great pride that I look back on the events of September 1997. Sure it may be a while ago but my victory in the inaugural Mollymook Cup was the result of a careful, calculated and cunning plan.

The Mollymook Cup in 1997 was golf in its purest form. A crack field of 10 competitors, not like today’s event where any Jonny come lately can play, just two rounds of man against man. Winning the 1997 version was much more difficult than in the modern era, no golf carts to carry you around the course, no oversized 500cc drivers, no yardage on the sprinklers, no rubber spikes, no special shirts, no caps, no e-mail, no practice round, no Mickey Mouse prizes for those that weren’t good enough win the main event, no jacket, and no extra distance super spin exceptional control golf balls. Yes this era of the Cup was indeed the toughest test of golf.

Anyway, back to the plan. In order to win such a difficult event I knew I would have to be one step in front of the opposition.

Phase 1 – Make them think your not playing. This was achieved by intentionally breaking collarbone in rugby union grand final. Host suspends betting and announces “late scratching”.

Phase 2 – Ensure place in field. This was achieved by sabotaging the deli slicer at Koonawarra Welcome Mart thus ensuring younger brother slices finger and is unable to take place in field. This guarantees tee time in the first group on Saturday.

Phase 3 – Eliminate all competitors over 30. This was achieved by phoning the Host in the week leading up to the tournament. Posing as the trainee pro at the Mollymook course, I informed the Host that due to the inclement weather carts would not be permitted on the course. As result competitors would be required to walk all 36 holes of the tournament ensuring stamina would be vital among the ageing field.

Phase 4 – Reconnaissance. This was achieved by hitching a ride to Mollymook on Friday with two competitors who intended to play a practice round. I was able to walk the 18 holes the day before and make notes on the layout of the course. This would ensure intimate knowledge of the course and conditions as well as being able to remind my playing partners on Saturday of their Friday errors. Refer to video footage of Ian Poole on the 6th Tee.

Phase 5 – Equipment. This was achieved by organising the videographer and his assistant to smuggle clubs to Mollymook on Friday evening.

Phase 6 – Increase the Handicap. This was achieved by approaching the Host on Friday night after he had consumed a few beers and announcing my intention to play. After being accepted he agrees to increase my handicap to 25 due to my injury.

Phase 7 – Going for the jugular. Armed with new handicap make the best of an early tee time on Saturday and shoot 40 points with an 8 shot clubhouse lead. Touché.

Phase 8 – The Grandstand Finish – This was achieved by allowing the Host to get within 3 shots with 6 holes to play. As he slices his ball into the houses on the 13th ask “Would you like me to help you look for your ball Greg?”

So there you have it, golf the way it should be. For my fellow competitors I leave you with the following observations

1. The Handicapper can be had.

2. A victory in the modern era is not as grand as those in the inaugural years

3. There will only ever be one person who was the first player in history to win the Mollymook Cup.

Written by Mark Placek